Gratitude in Faith

It's been a while since I've written anything concerning faith.  I'm at a confusing crossroads in my life right now, and like most times of difficulty, religion is finding itself shuffled to the back of my mind.  But, as is true with almost all problems, an hour or two in a quiet diner with coffee and a good book can bring some true illumination.
I've struggled most often with the paradox of my particular branch of Christianity.  For those who don't know, I consider myself a Protestant, and in a Calvinist branch of thinking known as Presbyterian.  When it comes to actual knowledge of my faith, I've taken enough classes on theology to know that I know almost nothing about theology, but I can understand a few terms and what they mean.  Chief among them is a basic tenant of the Prostestant life: Sola Gratia, "By Grace Alone".  The idea that God is so perfect, that Christ is so wondrous, that everything we say, or do, or even think, is the refuse of a kegger left in the bathroom stall for three weeks.  Not pretty.
For this way of life, there is no getting into Heaven.  We're not buying a stairway, or climbing a ladder.  We're the line of Chinese toys, hoping that our supervisor Jesus is saying Heaven instead of the garbage bin that is Hell.  Either way, there's nothing we can do to help.
Weird as it may seem, I do believe in this.  I would like to think I have some input in the resting place of my eternal soul, truly.  But I feel like I have the same power in determining my salvation, as I do when I place my hands in the ocean and will the tide to turn.  Simply impossible.  My soul is in Christ's hands.
Great.  Crisis averted, salvation is God's alone.  Now what do I do with the rest of my life?  I can't help myself get into Heaven, and yet I still feel it's wrong to live my life like a live-action version of Grand Theft Auto.  I don't know what God wants of me, or even what I want of me.
This is the closest I've come to an answer: there is a certain duality in our natures.  I hope, I pray, that one day - many, many years from now - I'll be standing at the pearly gates.  AC/DC will be blasting, while Angus Young is laughing his head off at how wrong they were about where they were heading, and the dress code is not just white robes.  I hope it will be even more awesome than that.  Regardless, until (or if) that day comes, I am a creature of God.  I am living in this place, this wondrous place, by His will and compassion.  And I want to be good, do good, in thanks.  Not for salvation, or even damnation.  I want to be thankful for life.
I believe life is a gift in itself, something that no being can truly express.  Ladies and gentlemen, we've all had this same dream as children.  Our parents drove us down south to Disneyland.  There are plenty of people so it doesn't feel like a ghost town, but there are no lines.  Perfect weather, cool breeze, Goofy looks like he actually might be in a good mood, and Space Mountain is ours for the taking.  Our parents turn to us, hand us a thousand dollars and say those magical words: "Have fun".
Here's the kicker: God has done this for us, with the entire planet.  We are free to do as we please, build as we please, in something of His creation.  We've conquered and shaped this world as we have seen fit.  And never a word has been said against us.  How sweet life is.
Live in this life, love this life.  We have a world that continues to grow, amaze, change before our lives, and we have decades with which to enjoy it.  This can be seen as the greatest treasure we shall ever receive.  I hope to live it to the fullest.
Before you all walk away from the blog of the Happy-go-lucky-Christian Boy, I'm not entirely naive.  I'll live, and I'll laugh.  I'll also scream, cry, hate, moan, and wish with all my heart for an anvil to just drop on somebody's head (or Washington's collectively, but that's for a later post).  I am human, after all.  I'm going to screw this up.
But what I'm beginning to understand is that life on this world is a gift with no strings attached, and we should treat it as such.  Use it constantly, abuse it a little.  Love it, hate it, do everything to it.  Make sure it ends up on Facebook more often than not.  But at then end of our collective days, when you have to put away the gift of this world for good, try and leave it in a better shape than you received.  That's gratitude.

Stay Strange, Folks.

Working in the Serene

Let me describe today.  I put dishes away.  Had to take trash out.  Cleaned the back yard and the front yard.  Took air conditioning units from my grandmother's house down a flight of stairs.  All before noon.  And I was completely happy.  It wasn't for another hour to realize how much this didn't make sense.

Do we find ourselves happier when we have something to do?  Does doing good well and truly bring about good?  The rest of today I have had a feeling of peace, and the only true work I've done since is fiddle with some laundry, take dishes up and downstairs, and think really hard that it would be a great idea to consider mowing the lawn.  Still this feeling of workmanlike accomplishment persists.

There is a real and significant emotional impact brought about doing work we believe in.  Human beings are not built to emulate sloths, but to achieve something that they know to be worthy of their time.  We fail, we succeed, we keep trying anything to find this feeling of achievement.  Or so we hope.

I am not saying I am a perfect worker.  Last Thursday, I had a pure day off.  No job to go to, no need to clean the house, I didn't even leave the house.  And I accomplished measurable skills.  I honed my skills at Madden, studied the intricacies of Weeds, and I may have even picked up a book.  But I hated myself for doing nothing that I considered growing my mind...except for Weeds, but that's a discussion for another time.

We want our days off, we need our days off.  But more and more I'm understanding why parents are more than willing to help out with their child's soccer team, or teachers spending a weekend working with the drama club, or even just being that mean person that wants to take a hike in October.  People want to feel active and productive; not some days, but every day.  And once we recognize this, once we give ourselves permission to squander our free time actually being active, is when we realize our potential for doing good is truly limitless.

Stay Strange, folks

The Sin Of Being Born Elsewhere

I've tried forever to understand illegal immigration policies.  Several of the points made have had varying degrees of success convincing me.

1.  We need to protect our borders from terrorists.  Yes, we do, totally agree with that.  But terrorists aren't the same as guys crossing the border to get a job.
2.  We need to protect our high-paying jobs from being stolen by illegal immigrants.  Well...no.  Our high-paying tech jobs aren't going to someone who doesn't even have a GED.  Illegal immigrants, racist as it might seem, are most likely taking the low-paying jobs.
3.  Illegal immigrants do not belong here!  And that brings me to my greatest point of contention.  Illegal immigrants do not belong in "The Greatest Country on the planet."  To that my response is...why?

Why don't immigrants belong here in this country?  Because they were born in a different country?  So they are being denied access to some of the greatest schools, the greatest sciences and - from a completely aggrandizing perspective - one of the most beautiful countries the planet has to offer, because they weren't lucky enough to be born here.  They lost the proverbial genetic lottery, and are condemned forevermore.

It's been said we have over 11 million illegal immigrants in the country.  I'm of two minds as to whether or not to grant amnesty, and both of them agree.  I have a completely bleeding-heart mentality of let freedom ring!  From sea to shining sea, throw open out borders, and let us truly be a great melting pot once again.  Immigrants rock!  Secondly, I have a conniving, power-hungry, not-so-nice mind that says let them all become citizens!  Why not, we need more taxes anyways.

That's not just a cynical joke, ladies and gentlemen.  More taxes, please.  Once again, Democratic values shine through.  These people are coming here to work, for a better lifestyle, and are willing to risk life, limb and deportation to do so.  Surely they would be willing to pay a little bit to live without fear?  We should all be free to be tax-paying citizens.  11 million more people, finally sending something in on April 15th?  Let's see how our deficit looks afterwards.

Immigration has always been a part of this country.  Let's see if we can't bring it into the 21st century.

Stay strange, folks.

Variety, where have you left me?

My radio sucks.  I can't seem to get anything close to a clean CD in it, I don't even have a tape player and there is nothing close to resembling an iPod jack.  So I am stuck on the radio, which I am enjoying.  New music, discovery of different channels, I thought I'd finally be expanding my auditory pallet.  And then I was greeted to this:

"Toby Keith and Miranda Lambert on the same station?  Now that's variety!"

"Only one place you can find Fall Out Boy AND All Time Low..."

"All the rock music from 1982-1987, just the best for you!"

Congratulations.  My interests have been successfully narrowed down to five different artists.

As you would believe, it isn't just radio.  MSNBC is THE place for politics, with all the variety of views from the liberals to the super-liberals, while Fox News has such rousing debates on the differences between the republicans and the tea party republicans.  I can't even get a book on Amazon without recommendations for  the dozen or so titles that all have something to do with each other, and absolutely nothing else.

Niches are great.  We all have our personal interests, and there can be true wisdom found in a verse on the radio.  But how we grow as people is exploring, being thrown outside our comfort levels.  Ignore the recommendations at times, spin the proverbial wheel, and try something new.

Stay strange, folks.

Compromising Victory

I’ve held off on this post for over a week.  Not because I was too busy celebrating over the major sweeps Democrats made…though I was celebrating.  Repeatedly, with no sign of a diminishing enthusiasm.  My team won, cleaned up in almost every section of the state, and won the presidential election with room to spare.  Fantastic…now go lead.

After looking at this election, my thought is simple: what’s really changed?  We have a senate minority leader who still thinks he’s in the majority, a House of Representatives that is still in lock step amongst party lines, and neither part of congress can seem to agree on what’s going to be done about anything.  A week has gone by, and I can visualize two-hundred-plus weeks in the future of the population asking why are we paying taxes?  For the honor of hearing a hundred senators say something must be done and then sit there?  Have a president demand reforms the populace agrees with, but will never pass because they don’t poll well enough nationwide?

We are a country divided.  First off on that note, good.  Differing opinions rock, that’s how policies are refined.  If we can have two positions on an issue, I’m sure we could find a third.  But we are not looking at differing policies, but two mountains staring at each other across a valley.  They won’t move any which way, just stands as the wind blows by, confident of their own self-importance.  Meanwhile the world goes on.

We are facing huge and immediate dangers in this country.  Foremost is the fiscal cliff, President Bush’s tax cuts are set to expire at the end of this calendar year.  Suddenly everyone will turn around and notice that their money isn’t theirs anymore, but it’s with a government that has no clue about what to spend this new money on.  President Obama is demanding that people making over a quarter of a million dollars a year should pay more taxes.  Congressional Republicans claim the president has not given congress a viable plan.  Rock, hard place, and the American people are caught right in the middle.

This isn’t a simple decision.  Is there a need for more taxes on the extremely wealthy?  Yes, if only so we can start balancing a budget, get our country back where it belongs, and start removing the national debt from our minds.  But at the same time, there are entitlements that need to be removed, reformed and restructured.  So both sides are right, and both sides are wrong.  How this economic decision is made isn’t the simple decision.  But making that decision, actually committing to doing something other than complain that nothing is being done, that is quite simple.  Politicians weren’t elected just so they could be on TV twenty-four seven and have a cool letterhead.  They are expected to make actual decisions.

We have a fantastic government, capable of extraordinary things.  But first it needs to stop screaming at itself.

Stay strange.

“Democracy is the worst form of government…except for all those others that have been tried.”

-          Winston Churchill

Diary of an Unemployed Wanderer, Part 10

Three weeks.

I’ve been gone for three weeks.  I haven’t touched a computer for three weeks.  Holy…something.  If anyone is keeping up with this thing…sorry.  I’ve been busy.  Doing what?  Being alive.

I never realized how hard that statement really is.  Society never really takes into account all the things we do for ourselves.  The things we do not for anything more than it’s right.  Things like food.  Water…flu shots…yes, I’ve been out for three weeks with the flu.

I caught it in the middle of October, and thought I’d be out for a couple days.  Have a nice story about how interesting it is to actually have the flu.  And then I realized that I was roughing it along the Mississippi river.  In Iowa.  In October.  The stupid award goes to me, I know.

But enough about illnesses.  I’m back, and showered, and I’m finally feeling better.  And still unemployed.  No, the ID thing has been on hold.  I realized that a flu-stricken English teacher was not exactly the best resume to hand in.  So now I’m here, raring to go.

And unemployed.  And running out of illegal money.

I need to do something…

How do we Break the Roles we've chosen?

Why does a drop of water follow the riverbed?  Because that is all it has ever known, all it will ever know.  It will follow that riverbed clear to the ocean, until it is swallowed up by the sky and sent down to begin its life again.  And we are all drops of water in riverbeds of our choosing.

Careers.  Relationships.  Personal hobbies, interests, even sports teams are all roles that we have chosen to fulfill in our lives.  To become part of something greater, we define ourselves as part of a group, rather than as an individual.  To do so grants each and every one of us power, the power of the majority, of belonging.  And deprives us all of choice.  And what is more important: the power to follow, or the choice of nothing?

We all must make our decisions of whether or not to be a part of society, of society’s rules.  Follow them and you have untold opportunities in the field of your ability and stomach for boredom.  Break these rules and you will be cast out, free in your insanity and ramblings against the status quo.
Society only works if we understand how to best facilitate it.  But our individualism demands that we don't simply settle into a role.  While I personally love to be known as an individual, I also love to help everybody, and sometimes I must set aside my differences in deference to order.

I am rambling.  What is the point of this diatribe, to challenge what is?  No, simply to reveal what we know to be true.  There are roles that we all fill, and we must understand what they are if we are to overcome them.  To overcome, not to break away from or distance ourselves.  If we understand our roles in society, we can fulfill our self-imposed destinies and in doing so fulfill our greatest dreams.

Why does a drop of water follow the riverbed?  What would it do if it tried to leave?  And what would happen if it had help?

The ramblings of a radical citizen.